Did I Ask For Fries?

Or more specifically the 10 fuckheads who decided to beat up my little brother and his mate last night suck.

If any of them are reading this, I have these points to make:

• Having 10 of you take on 2 other blokes does not make you tough.
• So why did you do it? Was it for kicks? Some fun.
• It can’t have been for the money - because $2.50 between 10 people doesn’t go very far
• Why don’t you go beat on some other gang. Leave normal people out of it.
• I have nothing else to say. You hurt my baby brother. Go away and die.

Sheesh, when you can’t even walk home safely at night, what is this world bloody coming to? I hate people.

I’m going to Melbourne in exactly 3 hours time. Watching the netball for the Commonweath Games, hoping Australia doesn’t shame themselves any further, and then just generally faffing about for the rest of the weekend.

I was looking forward to it, but this incident with my brother just makes me want to go down to Wollongong and become his full-time bodyguard. Again, I hate people.

I hate packing too, but I guess I need to get off my arse and do it right now. Moping about isn’t gonna make him feel any better, and hopefully he’ll drive up with my other bro and my Mum this arvo, so I’ll get to inspect the damage in person.

Bastards.

Have you ever heard the piece of trivia that says that during an average human lifetime you eat 10 spiders and 70 other insects whilst sleeping?

Unfortunately I think the current state of our apartment is definitely contributing to my lifetime total.

Is anyone else in Sydney totally overrun by cockroaches right now, or is it just us? The apartment building we live in turned two last December, and as a birthday present we seem to have been granted an abundance of cockroaches. Goody.

I’ve never really noticed them here at all before, but ever since getting back from Ecuador I have seen the little critters crawling about under the kitchen sink with wild abandon at all times of day and night.

Now I have a little confession to make: I can be both a slob and a grot. While I know that having these babies running around isn’t exactly reason to celebrate, while I was just seeing little ones, I must admit I wasn’t too concerned. It’s not like they are huntsman spiders or anything completely nasty after all!!!

But now these “cute” little cockies have grown up and become big MFs that fly across my bedroom ceiling. We are now officially at war.

I’ve been feeling a bit crappy today, and so my Friday night consisted of lying on my bed reading one of my many inane chick books for about the tenth time^*. I was briefly convinced to wander up to King St for some Chinese food, but upon returning immediately curled back into bed with my book.

I was having a pleasant enough time of it, until some movement on the opposite wall caught my attention. Big MF cockroach was sitting there staring at me. So I lay there staring right back at him for 10 minutes, but I guess he won our little staring comp. Dante had to save me by coming in and nuking the sucker with repellent.

Score: us - 1 cockies – 0. woohoo!

Half an hour later I’m still enjoying my book. I’ve sprawled out over the bed by now, quite relaxed until one of the little suckers crawls over my arm. Can we all say EEEEEEEEEWWWWW!! If they have the hide to do that while I’m awake and moving just think what they have been doing other nights when I’m dead to the world!!!

I started flapping about trying to hit the sucker, but all I achieved was to scare him off, no doubt to return with reinforcements in a few hours time when I’m asleep and at my most vulnerable.

Score: us - 1 cockies – 1. It’s only downhill from here I fear.

Help!!!! I don’t think I can ever fall asleep again!!!!

^* Wow I think reading some of the reviews of this book were nearly funnier than the book itself. Wish I had discovered that earlier. All I have to say is get over it people, it’s supposed to be a relaxing read!!! If you want to read something a bit more meaningful then steer clear of books that have tubes of lipstick illustrated on the back cover for heaven’s sake!!!

Sometimes I despair at my ability to function at a level approximating that of a “normal” human being. I consider myself to be a reasonably intelligent person, yet it never fails to astound me how often I seem to be able to stuff-up the most menial everyday tasks. Like sending mail – you know, the old fashioned kind.

Today I had cause to go the Post Office to send not one, but two items I’ve recently sold on eBay, in addition to picking up another item I bought that finally got delivered. So much for my eBay addiction being dead, but I digress…

So knowing that the Post Office closes at 5pm, I left it until 4:30pm to leave home. I was quite chuffed with myself at having pre-written both destination addresses out on post-it notes, so I left home thinking I had plenty of time.

Ten minutes later I’m standing inside the Post Office still mentally patting myself on the back for doing these transactions reasonably efficiently. Then I go about deciding what size pre-pack envelope thingies to buy. It’s only then that it dawns on me that I forgot to bring both items with me. Makes it kind of hard to post them when they’re still sitting at home!!!

So I rush back home, grab them, and rush back to the Post Office literally seconds before they lock the door. Sorry for making you leave late Post Office people, but I can’t help it that it takes me a few minutes to write out addresses legibly. It really was nice of you to hold the Express van, and I’m sure my buyers thank you too – think of the happiness you are spreading!!

I’ve always been a big fan of grocery shopping. I know a lot of people (my Mother included) hate it with a passion, but I’ve never really understood what’s not to like; food and shopping combined is surely the best of both worlds, right?

A few things over the past few years have changed my opinion on this issue though, namely moving to Sydney, getting rid of my car, and moving in with Dante.

Anyone who has ever been to Broadway Shopping Centre on a Sunday afternoon will know what I’m talking about, and can stop reading right now. It feels like all of Sydney has been given orders to converge in the aisles of Coles at the same time, every week.

Not that other times are a lot better anymore. Having wised up to the Sunday afternoon nightmare that is Broadway we sneakily decided to sneak in Saturday afternoon and try to beat the crowds. Not only were there still throngs of people around, the shelves still had their usual empty-because-everyone-is-stocking-up-for-the-holocaust appearance, and yet again my plans to buy chick peas were thwarted.

As for long weekends/public holidays. Seriously, if you want to keep your sanity, forget about it!!!

Getting rid of the old bomb of a car I had has been great in a lot of respects. I don’t have to worry about it breaking down, I don’t have to pay ridiculously high petrol prices, and I now have a beautiful little Vespa to get around on, which often takes less time than driving somewhere would. Not to mention the fun factor.

One thing that is more difficult is grocery shopping. Especially since moving in with Dante, because now I buy for two people. The amount of milk, yoghurt and OJ we go through in a week boggles the mind. It’s all bulky and heavy too, and doesn’t leave room for much else on my bike.
So inevitably we resort to trudging down to Broadway and fighting our way through all the people milling about. Without fail we always end up fighting both whilst shopping (yes it does take that long to pick out 4 perfect apples), and then afterwards, while he insists we get a taxi, and the cheapskate inside me wants to get the bus.

The solution we recently stumbled upon: Coles online.

Now I know this isn’t a new service by a long shot. Hell I even did an assignment on it way back when I was doing my first degree. But I’m a recent convert. Sure it does take a big of organization - you have to know 2 days ahead what you want and when you’re going to be home - but yesterday’s traumatic experience has convinced me it is so worth it.

Even if they did break my eggs last time!